Throughout this story, the narrator seems fairly detached while still being hyperaware about certain things like smells and how people look. This is especially the case with how he looks. He also suffers from bulimia based on some of the behaviors he expresses, the main one being purging and avoidance of food, while also always seeing himself as overweight. I feel like this influences many of his reactions, including how he reacts to both very fat and skinny people: it reminds him too much of what he thinks he is and what he wants – and can’t seem – to be.
This also plays into the narrator’s reaction when first meeting Terri. At first he almost seems disgusted with what he sees, but as the date goes on that perspective seems to shift. He doesn’t go through with what he was hoping for once he sees Terri on the bed, where he saw “something twinkle in her eyes.” Terri is the first to call to call him handsome, something he was longing for in his quest to feel good about himself. He’s almost enraptured by her by the end because of this.
One thing this narrator either refuses to or physically cannot see about himself is his own self worth and attractiveness. Part of this is because of the bulimia, which turns mind against body, but it could also be because he was looking in all the wrong places. Throughout it all, he seems to place so many societal standards on himself. He comments on his girly hands and his acne scars, heavily implying that that isn’t what he should be. He puts all this pressure on himself without understanding the full implications. This, of course, plays into what the story is really focused on – his insecurities and bulimia – and what he thinks it’s about – the relationships with Terri and his uncle.