It took a while for me to understand the story, but it became clearer to me as I read. It’s a sad story and one that make me relate to it more than I thought I would.
This story is about a man who is afraid of dying and not leaving any indication he was here at all. Our main character used to do so much in his life and never really stopped to think about mortality or what he’s leaving behind. The first time he’s really had to think about it was when the fire came when he was younger and he watched his father scramble to save all of his research materials and the framed bugs he made. He admits he was never scared of getting hurt or dying when he was adventuring before his heart attack and he was forced to confront it when he had his heart attack. Even after he had his heart attack and he was forced to remain sedentary, he distracted himself with books and magazines and other things that made him think he was fulfilled.
He’s forced to confront his morality and his approaching death when he has to make the decision of whether to keep the tree, or cut it for the safety of others and the health of the trees surrounding it. He’s afraid of getting rid of it and planting another one because he wouldn’t be alive to see it grow, and he even admits that the one thing that begins to scare him is the thought of a century passing. He wants the tree to remain because, in a way, he sees himself in the tree. It’s been there longer than himself or Mr. Pike, and he himself has been in the neighborhood longer than Mr. Pike. If he’s forced to remove the tree and erase its history in favor of planting a new tree, he’d be confronted with the fact that he’s also fairly easy to erase and replace and that scares him. So instead of removing the tree for sake of everyone, he plans to poison Mr. Pike’s trees. It’s a pretty clear statement of “if I’m going down, I’m taking you with me,” and that’s a toxic mindset to have when one is discussing what’s the best course of action to save the community.
The only reason he doesn’t is because he realizes that he is leaving an impression for when he passes. He’s willing and able to spread his love of the stars and their meaning and he brings a new generation of star lovers into the world. He realizes his impact isn’t a grand one like the tree’s, but it’s still an impact he wasn’t aware he was making until it’s accidentally thrust in his face. Once he realizes that impacts don’t have to be physical, he starts thinking toward the next new generation and considers having a child to raise and spread more of his knowledge to. It’s a wonderful, coming to terms story that almost mirrors a coming of age story, but in a midlife crisis sort of way.
I love this interpretation of how the narrator is afraid of dying, especially without leaving a mark in this world, and how he somewhat overcomes that fear by telling the paperboy about the stars. This is a very typical fear that many people have but for this narrator, this seemed to be a fear that had taken over his way of perceiving the world. While he had led a good life up until this point, he was always afraid of suddenly dying without leaving some mark in this world. I think through seeing how Mr. Pike is affectionate and loving with his family, the narrator realizes that his fear is not a justification to purposely sabotage the life of someone else who is trying to live, especially the younger generations.